Ok right now I'll have to take a few moments to process the news I have received. OK first Sister Larson passed away? That's so sad. What a wonderful women. She had an air about her that whenever I was near her I felt like I was standing in a holy place. Paige is engaged?! Going to be married in five weeks? Either that is a super quick engagement or you are just doing really bad at updating me.... Aunt Michelle is pregnant?.... It is a good thing that I have not taken my shoes off yet or else that would have hurt pretty bad when my jaw hit them. I'm just speechless.
Brigg! Hey so this is a bit selfish but i hope that you get reassigned to the SLCS Mission and get to serve around Elder Hall. Man he is great guy. I don't know how many times i have heard stories of visa waiters that when the choose to get the most out of it, see some amazing miracles in their temporary mission. I can't wait to see where you will be going.
Sheldon with the Mountain View hotties huh? Well let me give you a bit of advice. Listen to whatever dad says about them... He will most likely be right. He was with me at least.
So lets get down to the nitty gritty. I had a great week. Its kinda been all over the place. I went on three work overs and was out of London two days in a row. Also I got to spend some time with the oldest elders in the mission. Elder Boysyuk from Cezch Republic and Elder Klobcic from Slovenia. They are 27 and 26 respectively. These Eastern European Saints are studs. I could not imagine growing up in those conditions with such little (if any) outside support.
Since I have been on my mission I have become fascinated with psychology and Nero-science. Seems like my interest is captivated whenever it is talked about or explained. On a work over Elder Giboin had a dinner appointment with a hypo-therapist. My days he had some interesting stuff to share. I learned what dream are (at times). OK so as humans often times (most of the time) we suppress emotions and thoughts. These kinda get stored into the subconscious. 'push it to the back of my mind' type things. So dreams are a way for the subconscious to create an imaginative reality where these suppressed emotions will be able to be released. This made so much sense to me as I reflected back on dreams that I have had this week and also experiences that others had shared with me. Like for instance some one I once taught who had bad health because they had a reoccurring dream. This dream would reenact a horrible memory from their childhood. This caused er to only get about 2-3 hours of sleep every night and she was terrified to go to sleep. I was the first person that she felt she could trust to talk about so for nearly 25 years she had suppressed this emotion/memory until it consumed her subconscious. I can see now that the gospel will have a profound influence on her life. It is and will teach her how to find healing through the Saviour. Kind of a testimony to me that we can try to do it all our self but when it really comes down to it we are helpless with out Jesus Christ. OK there was another point that I wanted to make with this..... Oh I got it
I was thinking that in the end it maybe isn't best to suppress these thoughts or emotions. Rather we should find a way to express or redirect them. Like for instance an impatience person can change from passive frustration to active patience. Diligently working towards the thing they are waiting for. Or a mother who has lost a child, rather then becoming depressed and reclusive cursing God an wishing to die, can get out and express her love for her child by service and helping others. Expressing the pain of the ordeal and being able to emphasize with others. Grant this will not always work. Where ever the is to be true spiritual growth and healing the Saviours is always needed. So this lead me to think about sin. This is where I am now. I have learned good and evil. I have a pretty darn good understanding of what is sin and what it's consequences are. Because of this knowledge (and after many struggles) I have developed self control. Control to the point where when tempted I am able to suppress the desire to sin and choose to walk away. However this is not good enough for me. The time that is spent in that moment to choose, the time where the angel and devil play lawyer and jury is time wasted. The longer we spend in that moment the harder it is to escape. The greater our desire to sin the harder it is to walk away. So know these points I don't want to suppress the desire to sin and walk away. I just simply don't want to have the desire to sin. I want to be like Nephi and shake at the very appearence of evil. I want to look at sin with Abhorance like the High Priest of Alma. I want to have no desire to do evil like the people of King Benjamin. Like King Lamoni's faithful father, my prayer is that i can have 'this wicked spirit rooted out of my breast'. More then ever this has been one othe strongest goals/desires in my life. But how is it done?! I know that it comes from being born again. Check! Done! I was baptised. I have recieved that Holy Ghost. Time and Time and Time again. but has this been enough? Have I been 'Spiritually born of God?' Have i received His image in my countenance? Have i experienced this mighty change of heat? I feel that the Lord is happy with what I'm doing and what I have done on my mission, but I seek for deeper conversion. I don't want to be the missionary that was amazing on his mission and then slipped back into the same old mundane carnal person i was two years ago. Boyd K. Packer said that on our mission is when we are to build our strength and faith so that when we go home to the same environment we were in we can face and conquer our Goliths from the past. Struggles that are just waiting impatiently for our return. Am I sufficently strengthened? Am I 'on par' to be the person the Lord wants me to be in four months? What more do I need to be doing?
I guess this isn't really a conversation i need to be having with you, but with my Father in Heaven. Hey it was good insight to how I'm feeling.
Neat experience this week. We have an investigator who is struggleing a bit at the moment for several different reasons. Most of which we didn't know about. I was studying for her (Bella) yesterday morning. Throughout my study Alma 34 kept poping into my head and i kept telling my self, Alma 34 has nothing to do with what you are teaching don't waste your time. finally with five mintues to go I turned to it. As soon as the page fell open I felt that I should quickly scan the page for the words 'Holy Ghost'. Luckily they are capitlized so that made it a bit easier. As was scanning for the verse I thought to myself 'you need to share this with Bella'. Then I found verse 28 'That ye contend no more against the Holy Ghost, but that you recieve it, and take upon you the name of Christ...'
Powerful. Bold. Perfectly tailored to her needs. The delivery was great. We had a super inspired lesson (Spiritually Draining but good). Bella is doing great now and we have more to work with. I hope that the Lord will continue to use me to work and speak miracles in Christ name.
I know that following the promptings of the Spirit leds us in paths of Righteousnes. I know that spiritual healing comes through the Atonement of Jesus Christ.
P.S. Mum have you accepted Natalie Harrisons friend request on facebook? She has questions for you and she could potentially be a great source for advice while planning a trip to come to the UK.